(Belated) Outrage of the day!

The actual poll results came out yesterday, but I want to share with you my utter outrage at the following fact... Egyptians no longer say America is the #2 most hated nation in the world!!! Big Pharoah and Sandmonkey have conflicting numbers. According to BP, the US is #3, behind Israel, and Denmark. According to SM, the US is #4, behind Israel, Denmark, and the UK!! What the freaking hell? I thought the US was the 'Great Satan'! And my lordy, 8% of Egyptians actually don't say Israel is an enemy? (hehe, some peace agreement!) What the hell? I am outraged about that as well! I demand that the US step up its Satanic death machines in order to get us back at the rightful spot behind the 'devil as a nation,' Israel. Actually, I think Tantor said it best, on Big Pharoah's blog...

As an American, I am absolutely outraged to fall to third place behind a bunch of Danes. Where is that Great Satan spirit I’ve come to expect from Egyptians? The next thing you know, you’ll hate Canada more than us. Maybe even France. OF COURSE, the US is going to invade Egypt. That’s all we talk about here. We’re going to steal the pyramids and move them to DisneyWorld. They’re already building the King Tut waterslide that will wrap around the Great Pyramid of Giza outside Orlando. We’re taking the Nile, too. Our Mojave Desert needs irrigation bad. Doesn’t anyone remember that we invaded Iraq to harvest organs from Iraqis to transplant into Americans? In fact, we’re building zombie Muslims out of all the collected organs left over and have infiltrated them back into Egypt. They walk the streets with you. Maybe that’s one behind you now. Don’t you realize we bombed ourselves on Sep 11 to make the Muslim world look bad and justify invading it all? Osama and Zawahiri are CIA agents, of course. Their real names are Bob Miller and Joe Spuggs, Hollywood actors who are now hiding out in a safe house in Las Vegas. Joe was in a bunch of B movie slasher flicks. We thought he’d make a good Bin Laden because when he was stoned he would get this creepy fanatic smile. We rewrote the Bible in Arabic, put “Koran” on the cover, and are distributing them all over the world, telling Muslims it is the true Koran. Man, are we laughing about that, especially after some Muslims from Cairo turned up at the Vatican asking where the Kaaba was. The Swiss Guard told them it had sprung a leak and was closed for repairs, come back later. And that two billion bucks we send to Egypt? It’s all coated with AIDS, every single bill. Come on, Egyptians, get your hate on. It’s your religious duty to hate America. WE’RE NUMBER ONE! And Don’t You Forget It, Tantor

The US obviously is doing something wrong to be a lowly #3 or #4 on the list of most hated nations. I despair at the state of the world! Dear Culture for All readers, HELP! What can the US do to regain its rightful spot on the #2 perch of most hated nations?