Monday, September 18, 2006

Shlemazl gets it, man!

He has uncovered the truth! It appears that the rioting Muslims around the world are not actually mad at the pope, oh no! They have a raging case of blue balls! It all sooo makes sense now! And I totally get the fatwa that was issued last month in Iraq ordering goat diapering (so as to not expose the genitalia of goats), and the jihad against the grocers for indecent fruit and vegetable exposure. I sooooo get it, man. Shlemazl has uncovered the mystery! Good detective work, man! To the pained jihadists: may I suggest some viewing material to help rub one out? That is for the gay male and female jihadists! That is for the straight male and lesbian jihadists! I hope all you jihadists enjoy pictures of gorgeous IDF troops in your quest to rub one out! I am just doing my part to help out with your sad condition.


shlemazl said...

Glad you liked the post :-) Thanks for the very interesting goat and vegetable links. The problem is compounded by the fact that Muslims are not allowed to jerk off.

Not sure I like the smoking soldier. Puts me off. I prefer these photos of girls:

and this video of boys:

You should also have in mind that I am 100% serious about the link between racism/antisemitism/antizionism and sexual problems. In his times in Austria Hitler was struck that lots of aryan women chose Jews. He is believed to have had serious problems in bed: ""It is well known that Hitler's sex life was bizarre. As a young man, he repressed direct sexuality and projected his erotic energy in grandiose fantasies. In his thirties, he was consistently attracted to young childlike women who clearly resembled his mother. The could, therefore, be more easily dominated than mature women but at the same time serve as a symbolically mother figure. Waites review of the material concerning Hitler's relationship with women makes it quite clear that he had an intense, unusual effect on them, probably because of his odd sexual demands. ....Virtually every one of at least several young women who were close to Hitler attempted or succeeded in committing suicide." Waits. Russian autopcy reported that Hitler only had one testicle.

Do you think I could do a PhD on this subject?

Red Tulips said...


I was joking in my post, but also serious. I too agree with you that pent up sexual frustration is tied into the urge to commit random acts of violence. I mean, if a guy gets laid in the present, what would he want with 72 virgins in the afterlife, anyway? Besides, experienced women are better in bed. Who wants 72 virgins, blegh??

I have a friend who spent a year teaching in Saudi Arabia. He is/was gay, and said he never had so much ass in his life. He said that the men there were simply sexually immature - they would fuck anything - didn't matter if it was a man or a woman! He didn't even think they were gay! In other words, it was like a prison atmosphere.

I think the Arab world would do well with an army of sexually experienced Zionist babes, fucking their way through the Middle East, thereby taking away the pent up sexual frustration.

But then again, I nearly made myself vomit at the thought, so perhaps not!

shlemazl said...

Saudi is a weird place. A guy I knew that worked there for a while claimed that for the Saudi men "women are for boring Mondays but men are for very special occasions".

I've been reading the blogs of some Saudi girls. They are unlikely to be representative because they have access to the web. Still, reading what their males do to them brings tears to one's eyes.

Does not stop these girls from blaming Jews for everything though.

Not so fond of your "zionist babes" idea. It should be politicians who keep going on about "winning the hearts and minds of Muslims". They should put their asses where their mouth is.

Red Tulips said...


I actually nearly induced vomit after I typed out my "zionist babes" idea, so let's pretend I never said that!

And yes, I have found the same re: the women of Saudi Arabia. An interesting blog I read on occasion is

She links to antisemitic conspiracy theory sites such as "What really happened," and to the deplorable Noam Chomsky and Robert Fisk, HOWEVER, what she has to write about is heartbreaking.

Very sad.

Anyway, I am not sure if Muslim men should get laid, or not get laid. I have seen that when Jihadists get laid, they feel such guilt that they in fact get angrier! Perhaps the best idea is to torture them with pictures of Kirstie Alley when she was fat, and Rosie O'Donnell.

That'll show them!

Thomas Forsyth said...

Sclemazel> I'd agree. Big Pharaoh's pics rule. I wonder how many of them would like a Goy US Army payroll clerk :)

Red Tulips> The woman in your pic was very attractive except for the cigarette part.

I don't recall being especially violent when I was all chaste and pure, but I did have outlets for release, and I got to spend all day with Catholic schoolgirls so that fantasy had little impact on me :)

"Perhaps the best idea is to torture them with pictures of Kirstie Alley when she was fat, and Rosie O'Donnell."

Don't forget Janet Reno and Cindy Sheehan.

ChiefMommy Owl said...

I'm 34 years old and I'm not sure I understand the term "rub one out." Please don't explain.

Sara :)

Kevin said...

Send them Zionist babes my way.
Though on a serious note i doubt a horde of Zionist babes would do much to dent the most fanatical of radical muslims from wanting to blow themselves up to gain those 72 virgins.
I did read somewhere that the arabic translation was wrong and that it acutally means 72 grapes. No idea if that was just a joke or a somebody in authority making a serious point.