When I read the following story... I immediately looked towards the chocolate cake picture and felt cravings.
Mmmm. Chocolate cake!
But then I read the headline.
Shop-owners sold chocolate cake sprinkled with human faeces
Two shop-owners were today fined for selling chocolate cake - which had been sprinkled with human faeces.
A horrified customer ate the foul-smelling gateaux but noticed that it didn't taste or smell "quite right" and handed the cake to public health scientists.
The analysts soon established that the sweet treat was covered in faeces and legal proceedings against the shop owners were started.
Shop owners Saeed Hasmi, 25, and Jan Yadgari, 23, were fined £1,500 for selling food unfit for human consumption.
This, is utterly revolting.
I know I don't need to explain that, but - saying it helps!
Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.
"Subsequent examination by the public analyst and national public health service laboratories confirmed the presence of faecal matter.
"There were bits of it all over the top of the cake.
"We cannot say for definite what kind of faecal matter it is, although it is very likely it was human. It would have to go through a DNA test for us to know for absolutely sure."
When I said I would have liked a strong Chocolate industry in my ideal society, this is not what I meant!
The case has taken 18 months to come to court and the pair have both left the Pizzeria.
Shams Mehrabi, who took over the Italiano Pizzeria in March, condemned the actions of the two men. He now has hygiene certificates on the wall and said: "I have the highest standards.
"This is a completely different business now. We have a lot of happy customers - we won't be selling chocolate cake."
Thank goodness, a happy ending!
The moral of the story: Be careful when you eat out!
[ Update: Beware of the Chocolate Conspiracy! ]
[ UPDATE (Red Tulips): I just wanted to inform you that not only is there a chocolate conspiracy...there is a VAST NETWORK of a chocolate conspiracy! Be afraid! There is a plot for worldwide chocolate domination! ]
[ POST-SCRIPT UPDATE: (Red Tulips): FYI, Steven actually prefers white chocolate to dark chocolate! White chocolate is not even really chocolate! Culture for All readers, I declare it is our duty as citizens of the world to show him the error of his ways. He has blasphemed the chocolate faith, dammit! Attica! Attica! ]
[ Update (Steven): Leave the dark side! Its tastes bitter! ;-) ]